Posts in coaching
Appreciating What We Have

It can be easy for all of us, especially the chronic complainers amongst us, to see the glass as half empty. Particularly in a society that makes many promises and encourages us to think that we deserve every last convenience and pleasure, it can be easy to fall into the trap of complaint when things don’t go our way. But if we just take the time to look at things from another’s perspective, we can often see that we have it good even when it doesn’t always appear that way.

So how can we start to see things from another’s perspective? And how can we adjust our thinking to be more thankful for what we have and see our life’s glasses as being half full?

  1. Adjust your paradigm – In his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”, author Stephen Covey shared a story involving a young father and his children on a train. Covey was seated on the train, preparing for a long weekend in front of him. He expected a nice, quiet ride while he read through his favorite periodical. The children, however, had other ideas. They were loud and boisterous and the father seemed quite oblivious. Increasingly annoyed, Covey eventually made his way to the father and asked him to control his children. You can imagine his shock and dismay when he was told that the man and his kids had just come from the hospital, where their wife/mother has passed away. Covey uses the story to speak about paradigms, or the way that we see things. If we have rigid, me-first perspectives on what should happen, such thinking will impact how we act and communicate.  If, however, we condition ourselves to think more in terms of what others want and need, as well as to set more realistic expectations for situations (such as taking public transportation), then we can approach them with more patience and balance.
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From barracks to boardroom: How Bill Sandbrook parlayed military experience into corporate success

When I asked Sandbrook whether it was harder to emerge from Chapter 11 or to resurrect a defeated leadership team, he quickly said the latter. You can find ways to get funding and other components that are needed for a turnaround, he told me, but it’s not so easy to change people’s mindsets and behaviors.

Success, he said, works from the inside out or from small to big. To use a military analogy, he sought to make winners out of people who weren’t used to winning. Once they developed a greater sense of control, efficacy and success on a personal level, it was just a matter of time before the company would benefit. As of this writing, the stock trades well over $50 per share.

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Put the past where it belongs

Success is not about the resources that we have access to but rather the resourcefulness that we bring to each situation. The most successful people in life were not necessarily the ones who had it all laid out for them on a silver platter. Plenty of folks with the standard “success ingredients” such as intellect, strength, charisma, wealth, good working environments, strong business plans, etc. have done surprisingly little in life.

What can we do to become more resourceful, so that we can take proper advantage of possibilities, manufacture opportunities and manage setbacks in a way that allows us to move forward? Consider using these techniques:

  1. Prepare well in advance. We never know exactly how things will work out. The best-laid plans often go sideways, many times for reasons that we could never have predicted. The readier we are for situations, the easier it will be to live in the moment and chart a different course to success.
  2. Be an avid learner. Again, the more we know the better we typically do. As part of being prepared, take the regular time needed to be well-versed on whatever we are trying to achieve. Many pundits suggest at least 30 minutes daily of growth-oriented reading.
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Walking the tightrope of life

Too many folks have confused priorities or, at the least, lose out on the means in order to enjoy the ends. We all know that life is about more than money, perks and notoriety. We have to be able to live, not just work. And for too many of us, this crucial balance gets lost in the rat race.

Folks with strong work-life balance:

  1. Lead purposeful lives. Balanced people give serious thought to how they want to live their lives. They confer with those who are most important to them and develop and then commit to a road map that will help them get there.
  2. Adjust as needed. Like most things in life, well-conceived plans can easily go sideways if we let them. People who stay on track continually ponder and dialogue about what is working or not, and adjust as needed.
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How to foster workplace passion

It is well-documented that many folks are not passionate about their work. According to this white paper by Deloitte University Press, up to 87.7% of America’s workforce do not contribute to their full potential because they don’t have passion for their work.

At the beginning of "StrengthsFinder 2.0 "(p. ii-iii), author Tom Rath presents some equally disheartening data. He relates that Gallup had surveyed in excess of 10 million people worldwide on the topic of employee engagement. In that survey, only 1/3 strong agreed with the following statement: “At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.”

In a related poll of 1,000 participants, all of whom responded that they disagree or strongly disagree with the above statement (“At work…”), not a single one said that they were emotionally engaged at work.

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Be aware of your blind spots

Let’s be frank. We all have them, regardless of our robust talents and successes. We may know a lot about our work and our industry and think that there’s nothing else for use to learn. Perhaps we see ourselves as connecting great with others and fail to identify problematic relations. Maybe we think that we run great meetings, while participants feel disengaged or that we do not solicit sufficient input. Regardless of the issue, we need to be cognizant that things aren’t always as rosy as we may think and we'd benefit from getting and maintaining as clear a picture as possible of our job performance.

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Know Your Why

In a moving video talk, comedian Michael Jr. describes the power of knowing your “why.” In it, he showed an audience a clip from a different event, in which he asked a member of that audience to sing the opening stanzas from “Amazing Grace.” The gentleman, a music teacher, began in a deep baritone and sang the refrain flawlessly.

After praising his performance, the comedian asked the teacher to do it again, but this time painted a scenario of true appreciation, such as a family member being released from prison. Not surprisingly, the second performance far outshone the first. This time, the song was performed with added feeling and emotion. The words were more animated and the tone was deeper and richer. Michael Jr. concluded that, “When you know your ‘why’ then your ‘what’ has more impact, because you’re working towards your purpose.”

Leadership expert Simon Sinek calls this “the golden circle.” He says that it’s not enough to know what you do and how you do it. At our essence, we are most motivated by knowing why we do things. And it’s through that awareness that we can best connect with and sell to others.

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Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Oftentimes, the biggest obstacle for a new leader has little to do with how well she knows the job or whether she possesses the right technical skills. In fact, most leadership experts identify poor interpersonal qualities and practices as the main reason that so many new leaders stumble out of the gate. They suggest that such relational transgressions as not communicating often, not being available for people on a consistent basis, and being unpredictable emotionally are primary contributors to new leaders failing to gain traction.

These and other negative interpersonal behaviors may mean that a person is weak in the area of Emotional intelligence (EI.) EI refers to a person’s ability to understand and manage his/her personal emotions and interpersonal conduct, as well as those of the people around him/her. People who rank high in EI are in tune with their feelings and emotions and can accurately predict how they might affect other people.

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The first 90 days: Getting off on the right foot

Leaders’ early actions, especially for those with more challenging leadership responsibilities, can often determine whether they succeed or fail. Harvard professor and leadership transition expert Michael Watkins writes in his best-selling book The first 90 days, that “When leaders derail, their problems can almost always be traced to vicious cycles that developed in the first few months on the job.” According to Watkins, what leaders do early on during a job transition is what matters most. Colleagues and others form opinions about them based on the limited information that they have available, and, once those opinions are formed, it can be quite difficult to change their minds in the months and even years that follow.

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