Change is something we all strive for—whether it’s breaking a bad habit, developing a new skill, or adopting a healthier lifestyle. But anyone who’s tried to make a lasting change knows it’s far from easy. Why is change so difficult, and what does psychology tell us about how to make it stick?
Read MoreIt’s that time of year again.
When we look at ourselves in the mirror and start berating ourselves.
“Why can’t you ever keep a resolution even for a single week?”
If you’re one of those, the good news - if you can call it that - is that you’re not alone.
How long do most people’s New Year's resolutions last?
Read MoreWe went to work on the "gremlin" and started the process of flipping the script.
“𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚.”
“𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚.”
“𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩. 𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.”
From there, we moved into the core objective of the session.
Read MoreIn his book Atomic Habits, author James Clear explains why habits are so difficult to break.
It's because we tend to focus on surface-level actions.
Most people start by focusing on outcome-based goals like...
“I want to lose 20 pounds.”
“I want to write a best-selling book.”
But these are surface level changes.
Read MoreWe all tend to get dragged down and overwhelmed by things that accumulate over time and end up cluttering our minds.
When we identify them - even if we're not prepared to do anything about them right now - we raise our awareness and naturally start to handle, fix, and resolve them.
Start by making a list of what you’re putting up with at work and at home to determine what might be cluttering your mind and slowing you down!
Examples could be: incomplete tasks, frustrations, problems, other people’s or your own behavior, clutter, shoulds, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unresolved issues or guilt, lack of exercise, eating habits, being indecisive, procrastinating, lack of sleep, etc.
I know that it’s not easy. I have struggled with these feelings plenty myself and sometimes still do. But I also know that it can and should be done, for you more than for them. Below are some strategies that can help.
Accept what is, then let go – The past is called that for a reason. We can’t change it, no matter how much we want to. So there’s no point in reliving it. The sooner that we recognize that the faster we will come to a better place.
Recognize the Divine Element – Just because we don’t like what happened does not mean that it was not meant to be. We may not ever find out why losing that potential spouse, that job, that money or something else was in our best interest. But our belief in personal divine providence tells us that the outcome was nonetheless preordained.
Own your portion – While you may not have deserved the hurt you experienced, there may have been a part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. Ask yourself what you could have done differently and commit to that behavior moving forward.
For our recent family road trip, my wife and I went with our children for two days of sightseeing in nearby cities. In total, we spent around ten hours in the car, mostly on 3 lane highways and predominantly at night, with little roadside scenery to take in. This gave me, the sole driver, plenty of time to observe my road-mates.
For the most part, the other drivers on the road followed the standard script. Those in the right lane were the slowest, with lots of folks occupying that lane temporarily to enter or exit the road. Drivers in the center lane were the majority. They maintained a healthy, predictable speed and were largely content to keep their place in line. Then there were the left-laners. These folks were the most aggressive, clocking in at the highest speeds. They would also weave in and out of lanes in order to improve their position and arrival times.
Read More
