It happens to all of us, and often at the most inopportune times.

We know that we have work to do – a job to complete, a new project to launch, some loose ends to tie up – but we just feel stuck in place. As if everything that we try doesn’t work.

We take two steps forward and one or more steps back. Or we start something and simply stop.

Or, worse yet, we don’t even know where to start.

Why does this happen?

There are many answers. One is that we get distracted. Another is that we have a loose sense of what needs to happen, but can’t figure out the specific steps to get there. Sometimes, we lose confidence in our ability to get the job done. Or, we simply don’t want it bad enough. (Of course, there are many other reasons, but these will suffice for now.)

Whatever the reason, getting stuck is a hopeless feeling. If not properly addressed, it can start to compound over time, leading to us falling farther behind and lose the trust of those around us or, worse yet, the ones that we’re charged to lead.

Connection: The Anti-Silo

It’s a central part of far too many organizations. Bickering. The lack of healthy communication. Folks sitting quietly at their desks, hoping to stay under the radar and not be burdened with more work, let alone someone else’s work. People prioritizing their wants and needs over those of the team, or those of their own team over the organization as a whole.

Territorialism. Silos.

Silo mentalities and the turf wars that they enable devastate organizations by wasting resources, killing productivity, and threatening goal achievement.

From Resolution to Achievement: 8 Tips for Making Your New Year’s Commitments Stick

Yesterday was New Years and, if you are like most people, you took some time to reflect on the outgoing year and set some resolutions for the year ahead. Maybe you decided to make a lifestyle change, such as eating healthier and exercising more. Perhaps you determined that it was time for more work-life balance or to travel more often. You may have set some business-related goals, such as making more sales calls or taking other action steps that will improve your bottom line.

These, or any other constructive goals, are the first step in living a better, more fulfilled life.

But we know that for so many, New Year’s resolutions are more commonly associated with failed aspirations and wishful thinking than with real, sustained change. We promise ourselves that we will think and do differently, but often quickly lapse into the same bad habits that promoted us to make said resolutions in the first place.

Are You Taking a Workplace Lonely?

For millions of people worldwide, the act of taking selfies has become an integral part of the social media experience. Selfies are internationally pervasive and evoke strong reactions from those that encounter them.

In a hysterical clip about selfies, comedian Sebastian Maniscalco hits hard on selfie takers. In his words, the act of taking a selfie should be called “taking a lonely.” “Do you know how alone you have to be,” he asks, “to take a picture of yourself?”

As funny as Maniscalco’s rant is, there is a deep element of scientific truth in it. For many, selfie taking is, in fact, the product of being alone. Lead researcher Dr Peerayuth Charoensukmongkol, of the National Institute of Development Administration (NIDA), Bangkok, said: ‘Not only do individuals who become obsessed with taking selfies tend to feel that their personal lives and psychological well-being are damaged, but they may feel that relationship qualities with others are also impaired.

NIDA researchers also found that a vast majority of those studied spent more than 50 per cent of their spare time on either their mobile phone or scouring the internet. Moreover, experts believe that both men and women who have lonely personalities tend to take more selfies for approval from other people.

leadership, business, coaching, relationshipsNaphtali HoffDecember 18, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consultingloneliness, sociability, leadershipComment

What’s Your One Sentence?

In his bestselling book Drive (pp. 154-155), author Dank Pink references a conversation between Congresswoman Claire Boothe Luce and President John F. Kennedy. Sensing that the president had too many competing agendas, she sought to focus him by asking him to think about his “one sentence”.

Each great person, she said, has a single sentence that describes him/her. For Abrhama Lincoln, she said, it was “He preserved the union and freed the slaves”. In the case of FDR, a fitting single sentence would be, “He lifted us up from the Great Depression and helped us win a world war”. Because of his competing agendas, Luce felt that Kennedy’s one sentence would instead become an overly muddled paragraph.

We all can have single sentences that describe us, even if our contributions are not as deep and lasting as the aforementioned presidents. Whether they say something about us as individuals, as leaders or as community contributors, having the ability to construct a single sentence that captures our essence can serve as a great guidepost and motivator.

Get to know the job well

My first leadership experience was the most unusual, most unexpected and most fleeting management role that I ever held. When I was a high school senior, I was asked if I could provide supervision in a kosher restaurant in Manhattan on Saturday nights. I didn't live too far from the place and wanted to earn some extra cash, so I agreed. The position, I was told, included oversight in the kitchen, and, because I could be in and out, manning the cash register.

The first night was going pretty smoothly. It took me a short while to learn the inner workings of the establishment's kitchen and how to operate the register. Not bad, I thought, for $10 an hour. But then, the head waiter told me that I had a phone call.

"Is this the manager?" asked the woman on the line. "Manager?" I thought. I hesitated, thinking that he had called the wrong person to the phone. I asked her to hold and went back to the head waiter. He explained to me that every kosher supervisor who works in that restaurant is also the manager, so yes; I was the right one to answer. I picked the phone back up. The woman, by now confused and a bit annoyed, asked incredulously, "are you sure that you're the manager?" With the confidence of a censored child I meekly replied to the affirmative. Let's just say that I've had better leadership moments than that one.

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffNovember 27, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consutlingleader, leadership, learningComment

Your approach to problem-solving: diet or regimen?

Until recently, I had never dieted. I simply didn’t need to. I come from a family of fast metabolisms and was always able to eat more or less what I had wanted without worrying about added girth. Even when my waistline started to expand, it wasn’t significant, certainly not enough to truly conscience the idea of dieting.

In addition, I had seen what happened to so many others who had set out to diet. Too often, they failed miserably. Some were unable to stay sufficiently disciplined. Others lost the weight that they wanted (and often even more) but quickly gained it back. If I was going to do something about my weight, it would have to be done in a way that I would achieve a different, more sustainable outcome.

So recently, when I decided that it was time for me to again fit comfortably into some old clothing, I put myself on an exercise regimen, rather than a diet. Though I had knew that weight loss comes primarily through changes in one’s eating habits, I felt that if I could first become disciplined establishing a demanding exercise regimen, I would be able to create a more sustainable approach to healthy living and, as a result, weight management.

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffNovember 13, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consultingleader, leadership, diet, workout, problem solving, regimenComment

No More Excuses

We all make excuses. Whether they cover up for why we were late (“There was no parking”), provide a reason as to why we didn’t do that errand that our spouse requested (“It didn’t get into my to-do list”), seek to justify why we broke our diet (“There we SO many sweets on the table”), or attempt to explain why we didn’t get the business deal (“My competition swept in and undercut me”), we use excuses throughout our day to justify our errors and explain away our failings.

The reason that we do this, according to psychologists, is to protect ourselves against anxiety and shame. It is simply easier to blame external factors than ourselves for our lack of achievement or for letting ourselves or others down. The problem is that the more that we make excuses, the likelier we are to build barriers that will impede our chances of attaining meaningful goals in the future.

While excuse making is common problem for everyone, it can be particularly problematic for leaders. Leaders are responsible for their own work as well as those that they lead. When leaders excuse away failures, they lower the standard at which they operate, which will inevitably reduce their productivity and impact. Worse, such behavior helps to create a culture of excuse-making that quickly trickles down the pipeline. In no time, people throughout the organization feel vindicated in justifying their miscues or lack of production. And if the boss makes his/her own excuses all the time, who is going to call them on it?

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffOctober 16, 2017leadership, ownership, excusesComment

Taking the Fear out of Change

Few words scare people like “change.” While we know that change is critical for organizations who want to stay cutting edge and prepare for the future, the fact is that change and disruption are hard on individuals and teams. They mess with our routines, raise questions about proper procedure and protocol, and force us to change our behaviors. Worst of all, they create a fundamental baseline of uncertainty, which cause many to descend into fear and doubt.

So what can leaders so to manage change effectively in the organizations and with their teams? The following are strategies to help manage change effectively:

1. Set the expectation that change is inevitable – Communicate your vision of a dynamic and evolving organization, where progress and change are inevitable. When a major shift happens, your people will be more likely to accept it as a matter of course.

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