Being an abundant mentor

Mentoring programs typically fail because one or more positive ingredients listed above are missing. Without question, the mentor’s head has to be fully in the game. When I first began as a head of school, I was assigned an experienced mentor from a different school on the other side of the country. He agreed to help me as a favor, and, predictably, as the school year progressed and his schedule became increasingly more filled, our time together dwindled to the point that the relationship had practically ended on its own.

In addition, a mentor has to be able to earn the protégé’s trust. That is not as simple as it sounds. In addition to demonstrating capacity, effective mentors find ways to make their protégés genuinely feel that they have the mentor’s best interests in mind.

One great way by which to build such trust is to think in abundance. Abundance theory sees the world as offering infinite possibilities. It suggests that not only is there plenty to go around (the opposite of scarcity thinking) but it also posits that my helping others will help me, in terms of sharpening my skillset and building increased capacity and demand within the field.

business, coaching, education, leadership, relationships, teachingNaphtali HoffJanuary 14, 2016leaders, leadership, learning, mentor, mentorship, abundanceComment

Being right isn’t always the goal

Different viewpoints are based off of the unique approaches, biases and inclinations that we bring to situations. However, where we get ourselves into trouble, particularly in the workplace, is when we assume that our perspective is the only one that exists, let alone the only one that matters.

Such narrow thinking can be even more damaging for leaders. Not only does it prevent them from grasping opportunities and identifying challenges that only others are attuned to, but it can lead to discontent and frustration in others who do not feel heard or valued.

How can we make sure to avoid such thinking and ensure that we not only become more mindful of other views but actively seek them out?

business, coaching, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffJanuary 5, 2016leaders, leadership, relationships, communicationComment

Abundance Theory in the Workplace

A few years back, I had made the decision to shift careers from school leadership to that of executive coach and consultant. To that end, I enrolled in a doctoral program studying human and organizational psychology. In my first course, I was told to interview someone who was in the same field that I sought to pursue and ask that person a series of questions relating to their career path.

After doing some research, I found two successful women that fit the bill. While both were pleasant to speak with and generous with their time, one in particular, a coach and trainer, shared some things that really made an impression on me. She said that she had benefitted from others’ expertise when she had gotten started and was always looking for ways to “pay it forward” to other aspiring professionals. The fact that I was planning to move to her general area and serve similar clients did not deter her from giving freely of her advice. She even met me on another occasion over lunch to talk further about how to help me transition and grow my business.

This woman’s behavior not only helped me to get started but she also inspired me to rethink a lifelong script that had become part of my inner thinking and attitude. I refer specifically to Scarcity Theory.

business, coaching, relationships, leadershipNaphtali HoffDecember 7, 2015abundance, theory, mindset, leadership, leaders Comments

The Maccabee in You

As a leader, you know that leadership offers great opportunities to guide and inspire others, to set the agenda and see it to fruition. However, it also can place us in compromised situations, where we feel as if we have lost control of the situation around us and need to engage in damage control. There are even times when we step into a leadership role that did not previously exist in order to address a need, a problem or a concern, oftentimes a pressing one at that. Such was the case of Matthias, the elderly priest who assumed an expanded leadership role at a time of great national duress in order to save his nation and the Torah that they treasured.

In this article, I will aim to distill leadership lessons from within the broader historical context, lessons that we can apply within our own lines of work and our lives in general.

1. Understand the objective - For most of our nation's history, we have lived in exile (either in the literal sense or in our homeland under foreign subjugation). While in exile, we enjoyed varying levels of freedoms and autonomy, but were generally content to subvert ourselves to our host nation so long as we were given the freedom to live religiously as Jews.

Matthias and his sons had no interest in attacking the Seleucid forces. They had fled to Modiin, a small hamlet on the outskirts of Jerusalem, because they knew that it would give them a better opportunity to live a Torah-observant lifestyle than in the now-Hellenized capital. Knowing what was of primary importance to them is what drove their decision to relocate as well as all of their subsequent ones.

How being thankful can make their day… and yours

As we prepare ourselves for the Thanksgiving spirit, let us take a few minutes to think about who has made a positive impact in our lives, both large and small. Then see what you can do to offer thanks, such as by calling them up, sending them a quick note, or perhaps even a gift.

When you offer thanks, remember to specify why you are appreciative and how that made you feel or what that did in terms of assisting you in some way. Such added detail deepens the gesture exponentially and helps reinforce the behavior in others.

coaching, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffNovember 23, 2015Thanksgiving, appreciation, thanks, love, peaceComment

PD: From epic fail to epic sail

The following list of suggested strategies are rules that we followed that I believe can help you deliver the kind of useful and meaningful PD to your teachers that they need and deserve.

Develop a 3-5 year plan. Before you do anything else, you need to know what your PD and growth-related goals are, for the short and medium range. Too often, principals live in the moment and make decisions on what feels right. Worse, they may feel obligated to offer “something” simply because it’s on the calendar. The risks in doing so, however, is that you can fail to deliver what is really needed. By developing a 3-5 year plan of the PD areas that you would like to focus on for your staff, you can approach the topic strategically and start to figure out such important areas as topics, schedule, budget and more. You can also loop back from time to time to reinforce and deepen previous learning, especially now that there’s been meaningful opportunity for them to practice.
Revisit the plan annually (if not sooner). We all know how quickly the winds could blow in the field of education. Yesterday’s “hot” topic can easily be replaced by tomorrow’s latest and greatest. By revisiting your list often, you can start current and see how such changes may or may not impact your thinking.
State and repeat: “One size fits none.” As with classroom instruction, PD also needs to be differentiated. We cannot expect our middle-school language teachers and our primary-grade teachers to benefit equally from the same presentation. Yes, some topics are generic and can be presented to an entire staff. However, there needs to be various examples for different sub-segments of the population to relate to. More about this later.

business, coaching, education, leadershipNaphtali HoffNovember 5, 2015leadership, training, professional developmentComment

8 qualities of strong mentors

Mentorship is a relationship that is created between an experienced professional and a less experienced mentee or protege. Its primary purpose is to build a support system that allows for the natural exchange of ideas, a forum for constructive advice, and a recipe for success.

Superior mentors possess most if not all of the following qualities:

Skilled and knowledgeable. Good mentors possess current and relevant knowledge, expertise, and/or skills.
Trust builder. The mentor establishes a high level of trust. He/she indicates that their relationship is about building capacity and offering support, not “zapping” the mentee for poor decisions or performances.
Active listener. A strong mentor knows how to listen. This includes using eyes and body posture to convey interest and attention. More about strong listening skills can be found here.

Connecting with parents

Many teachers use the relationships and the trust that they engender with parents to lay the foundation for student success. Unfortunately, in my years as a teacher and a principal, I too often observed an unhealthy dynamic between teachers and parents. Such teachers commonly found parents to be people that they needed to “deal with.” They viewed them as nuisances, if not worse. They wanted parents to stay out of their way and let them do their thing. After all, they were the experts.

Parents, for their part, can be quick to get upset with teachers for such things as rules, policies, perceived negative attitudes towards their child and, of course, poor student performance.

The sad reality is that the ones who suffer most from this tension are children. They need to feel the security of the rapport between school and home, rather than to be confused by an undercurrent of disharmony. As the African proverb states, “when two elephants fight, it’s the grass that gets trampled.”

education, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffOctober 14, 2015education, connection, teachers, parents, relatingComment

Foster a growth mindset

A fixed mindset refers to the belief that skill and capacity are fundamentally attached to a person’s genetic composition. Either you “have it” and are good at it, or you’re not. This applies to everything from academics (“I’m not much of a math guy”) to business and social situations (“I don’t know marketing,”) as well as music, athletics, and more.

Those with growth mindsets, on the other hand, tend to believe that skills can be learned, at least to some degree of proficiency. They maintain and that success depends mainly on one’s willingness to learn, practice and pursue their goals. These men and women are not content to rest on their laurels. They continuously strive to learn new things and to develop new capabilities. They do so in part because of a great drive to succeed. But they also possess a deep sense that they can stretch their inborn talents if they are willing to make the effort.

leadership, coaching, relationshipsNaphtali HoffSeptember 8, 2015leaders, leadership, growth, mindset, learning, teaching, inspirationComment

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