How to Come of Age in Style

This past week, my son Chaim celebrated his 13th Hebrew birthday and became a bar mitzvah. My wife and I reveled in the moment that was shared by family and close friends.

Literally, the term bar mitzvah means “son of a mitzvah (commandment)” and is intended to convey that a young Jewish man who has come of age is now obligated in the fulfillment of divine commandments as an adult male. (The same holds true for young Jewish women when they reach the age of twelve.)

But this milestone is so much more than a simple transition from childhood to adulthood (the Torah offers no such concept as adolescence). In fact, it represents three very important transitions in a young person’s life that can serve as a lesson for us all.

Become a Leader of Influence - Part III of An E.P.I.C. Solution to Undertstaffing

At the heart of great leadership is influence, as in the ability to influence others to do what needs to get done.

In a piece written for Forbes, Kevin Kruse defines leadership as “a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.” I like his approach because it factors in some important primary leadership elements: (social) influence, others, effort optimization and goals.

Leadership is about influencing others, rather than demanding and coercing. It speaks to the ability to win people over to a new way of thinking and practice, though idea sharing, collaboration and role modeling.

While influence is important for every leader, it is especially critical when we’re understaffed and need to maximize every ounce of talent and time at our disposal.

How to Move from Rejection to Redemption

The Jewish holiday of Passover commemorates the redemption of a band of Hebrew slaves from extended, torturous Egyptian bondage. Participants sit around a bedecked table as kings and queens, as they recall their ancestors' transition from servants to freedmen.

The Hebrews at that time experienced a sudden transformation from a state of perceived rejection (Is God ever going to take us out of here? Did He leave us here to rot as slaves forever?) to one of miraculous redemption, complete with supernatural miracles and newfound glory. If we are to take a stab at replicating that ancient experience we may wish to spend some time considering our own transitions from rejection to redemption.

We have all tasted the bitter pill of rejection. There was the time that we were not selected for the school performance or failed to make the basketball team. We know what it's like to be kept out of select social cliques or told "no" by the person with whom we sought a relationship. Not every school that we applied to accepted us; nor did every would-be employer. Perhaps we even had the misfortune of being rejected by an employer, or worse, a spouse or family member.

Pull Your Team Together - Part II of An E.P.I.C. Solution to Undertstaffing

In our first E.P.I.C. post, we spoke of the importance of setting clear expectations (“E”) that empower leaders and their teams to be strategic, take initiative, innovate, and deliver desired results. In this post, we will focus on the second “E.P.I.C.” component, pulling your team together and connect them deeply to the mission (“P”).

You’ve seen it many times. The bickering. The lack of healthy communication. Folks sitting quietly at their desks, hoping to stay under the radar and not be burdened with more work, let alone someone else’s work. Other folks prioritizing their wants and needs over those of the team.

Territorialism. Silos.

Using Clarity to Combat Understaffing - Part I of An E.P.I.C. Solution

When I began in July, 2010, as head of school of a 360-student, independent K-8, my administrative team and I simply did not have the manpower or the competitive advantage that so many other schools in our community enjoyed.

Staffing shortages were everywhere. We had no admissions director or marketing professional. There was no resource room, let alone anyone to staff it. Computers were formally taught only to our youngest grades, and by the librarian. Our athletics coaches were all volunteers. They even drove our kids to the games since we had no budget for bussing.

And then there was our administration. The three of us shouldered a myriad of responsibilities that extended well beyond conventional school leadership. Compounding the problem were the expectations from our board, who expected me to significantly raise the school’s academic standard after years of perceived complacency. Stress levels were high as we all tried to do more with less.

Small Things Matter

I admit it. It’s petty. But it still bothers me. Sometimes even a lot.

My personal name, Naphtali, is biblical. (Naphtali was one of Jacob’s twelve sons.) Because the name is of Hebrew origin, there are many ways to transliterate it. And the spelling that I adopted is a bit unconventional for many in the Orthodox Jewish community to which I belong. The result is that my name is constantly misspelled, on email correspondence, invitations, and even when I am being announced to media and an organization as a keynote speaker or guest lecturer. No matter how many indicators the other side has of the way that I spell my name (email, website, LinkedIn profile, etc.), it seems as if they have deliberately chosen to ignore it in favor of their more familiar spelling.

In most cases, I opt to remain silent. I know that no malice is intended and there is typically little impact, if any, due to the error. Inside, however, I churn a bit, not because of the spelling gaffe per se, but because of the obvious lack of care that the other individual demonstrated by making the mistake in the first place

How to Lead Authentically

We live in a paradoxical world. On the one hand, we are more connected than ever before. Social media and our portable devices makes posting and reading content, liking, commenting, and sharing, easier and faster than ever. We know what our contacts are doing in real time and can “join them” virtually from the comfort of wherever we are and whatever we’re doing at that moment. Email and a host of messaging platforms also keep the virtual conversation going around the clock.

Yet, there is something about all of this connecting that leave so many of us wanting and unfulfilled.

Part of the issue, no doubt, is the superficiality of how we connect and engage. Though our networks are larger and more diverse than ever before, the quality of those connections is simply not there. So much of communication depends on the things that technology cannot replace, like non-verbals, proximity and the like.

But for many of us, a bigger issue with Networking 2.0 may be the inauthenticity and contrived realities that it fosters.

How to Break Through When You’re Stuck - Part II

In a previous post, we laid out a number of action steps that can help someone who feels stuck to break through and get things done. Here are some additional steps that can make the difference between languishing behind paralyzing inaction and crushing it with empowering achievement.

Find a mentor who is one chapter ahead of you – When you don’t know what to do next to, find someone who does. Ideally, this should be someone who just walked a mile in your shoes. They will not only be current in their thinking and approaches, but will likely be more willing to share their experiences and help you grow more quickly than you could do alone.
Get a coach – Coaches are trained to ask penetrating, elucidating questions that push aside the clutter and clear a pathway forward. Great coaches help you overcome gremlins and limiting beliefs and forge ahead with greater confidence.
Be prepared to learn – Sometimes, the difference between staying put and moving forward is the ability and willingness to learn new information or skills. Don’t assume that yesterday’s knowledge can always solve today’s problems. Figure out where your gaps are and hit the books, video, course, etc.

business, leadership, mindsetNaphtali HoffFebruary 5, 2018Impactful Coaching & Consultingbusiness, leadership, breakthrough, successComment

Finding the Meaning in Our Work

As I researched this topic, I was struck by the extent by which all people, not just back office or less prominent professionals, identify meaning and purpose as central elements of their job satisfaction. We all seek affirmation and want to know that the work that we do makes a difference. Mary Kay Ash once said, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.”

Money alone is not what motivates us. In fact, while meaningful pay is certainly a key element in selecting and remaining in a job, compensation is usually not at the top of what motivates us to come to work every day. Purpose, more than any quality, is what we value most.

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