10 Lessons I Learned from Starting 10 Years Ago with 0 Clients

10 years ago, my role as principal of a K-8 in Atlanta ended and I immediately hung my “Impactful” shingle.

Voila! I was now a coach/consultant… of exactly 0 clients.

Which meant that I had no idea how I was going to...

pay for my family's relocation to NJ, one of the most expensive states in the nation;
make meaningful and consistent income as a new-to-market coach/consultant with a freshly hung shingle; and
put myself through graduate school to complete my doctorate.

Thank God, I managed through that difficult early phase, and can now count many thousands of people who I have been blessed to serve through coaching, consulting, training, keynotes and talks, and my books and articles.

Here are 10 lessons I learned along the way.

'When' matters almost as much as 'What'

I recently read (well, listened to) Daniel Pink's book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing.

The central theme of the book revolves around the idea that timing matters more than we might realize, and understanding the patterns of our internal clocks can lead to better outcomes and improved well-being.

Here are 3 important takeaways:

1) Circadian Rhythms: We have internal biological clocks called circadian rhythms. These rhythms influence our sleep-wake cycle, body temperature, hormone production, and metabolism. Our bodies are naturally programmed to be more alert and active during the day and to wind down and rest at night. Understanding and aligning our activities with these rhythms can optimize our energy levels and overall well-being.

How to get more done this week (plus special announcement!)

We all want to get more done this week.

But if this week becomes like all other weeks (a likely reality for many) then we'll look back yet again and wonder why.

🔎Why we couldn't be more focused.

📋Why we couldn't achieve more.

🎡Why we seem stuck in a perpetual rut.

The truth is, there are reasons that we don't get more done.

Some might call them excuses.

But since they affect so many of us, let's just assume that they're real and need to be identified if they're to be addressed.

Here are some of the most common reasons.

How consonant is your leadership?

‘Cognitive dissonance’ is a term coined by psychologist Leon Festinger back in 1957 in his book A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. It refers to the discomfort that a person feels when there is misalignment between their behavior and their values or beliefs. It can also occur when a person holds two contradictory beliefs at the same time. In contrast, cognitive consonance exists when ideas logically flow from one another and are consistent.

For example, a person who considers himself orderly and cleans up after himself even when it’s not easy or convenient is in consonance with his beliefs. But if the same person leaves things around, his behavior is in dissonance with his self-identity.

How to Make You New Year's Resolutions Stick This Time

It’s that time of year again.

When we look at ourselves in the mirror and start berating ourselves.

“Why can’t you ever keep a resolution even for a single week?”

If you’re one of those, the good news - if you can call it that - is that you’re not alone.

How long do most people’s New Year's resolutions last?

Feeling stressed? Ask yourself this question.

A lot of the stress we experience is generated by the fear of the unknown. What I often do to control my own stress levels is I ask myself, "what's the worst that could happen?"

That's the cliff. ⛰️ I then start walking myself back from the cliff and reframing things.

Take the long, short road

Saturday night, I took the 'long' route home from post-Sabbath services

It's about 2 minutes longer than if I had used the shortcut

But because of heavy rain that fell just minutes before, the shortcut was muddy and treacherous

So, I decided to take the 'long" way home to save myself the possibility of slipping and soiling myself, which would have made the 'short' way 'long' (I hope you're following me on this)

Which, come to think of it, I've been doing for most of my life

I choose to see how I've succeeded, not how I've failed

Recently, a dental crown came loose.

It filled a gap from a tooth that I lost years ago due to neglect.

Root canal and all.

Back in the day, I would brush less frequently, drink soda, and view dental visits as things to avoid.

The result was that I lost a couple of teeth and had some others that needed much help to save.

Since then, my personal dental care has improved significantly.

And, thank God, I haven't even had a cavity in quite some time.

So, when it became clear that I needed to replace the crown (and went through the process of fitting for a new one,) it brought me back to that time when it seemed like I was in for a rude awakening every time I visited the dentist.

If you want to fix your results, fix your mind!

We went to work on the "gremlin" and started the process of flipping the script.

“𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚.”

“𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚.”

“𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩. 𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.”

From there, we moved into the core objective of the session.

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